First ACTUAL Post; EXCITING, isn’t it?

For our first actual post, we racked our brains trying to come up with something. We didn’t want it to be too convoluted, yet we wanted it to be debatable. Nothing too new, but nothing too old that people won’t remember it. We wanted it to be interesting, and at the same time, humorous as well. We wanted it to have meaning; something that would define us as a blog; something with meaning.

And then we decided, NAH, we’re going to rant, and RANT we shall! Specifically? About our good friend and beloved country music star Taylor Swift. Well, her song “You Belong With Me” anyway.

Don’t play dumb, we know you know it; you’ve probably heard it a million times, and if you haven’t, well WE have. And frankly, we’ve gotten sick of it. Yes, it’s a beautifully written ditty, composed by a lovestruck girl who may or may not have fallen in love with her best (and probably only) male friend, singing about how his girlfriend doesn’t “get his humour” like she does, etc, etc. Honestly? We disagree. With the ENTIRE song. ESPECIALLY the lyrics regarding him belonging with her, or her belonging with him, or her and him WHATEVER. We can’t stand it.

The song opens up with Taylor Swift, hereby nicknamed “Swifty” because that’s how we roll, somehow listening in to a conversation with the would be guy and his girlfriend. First off, HOW does she hear this conversation? HOW? She isn’t in his house and up until the music video reveals that she’s practically STALKING him, we as LISTENERS get NO explanation for her sudden psychic surge. Why isn’t she listening in to other conversations? More importantly, why isn’t she on the run from secret government agents who would ironically reveal themselves as they capture her? I digress, however, that it goes on.

Next, we learn that the girlfriend is, in fact, informing her significant other that he has hurt her feelings due to a comment he made earlier. At this point, our narrator (Swifty, do recall), claims that the girlfriend (Female X) doesn’t get the boyfriend’s (Male Y) humour…NO! NO! NO! She GETS his humour! In fact, she probably gets it more than Swifty, Male Y, clearly hurt Female X, and at this point she is simply informing him! Swifty decides that Male Y is SO perfect, that he couldn’t possibly be the BAD GUY, and he couldn’t POSSIBLY have done or said ANYTHING negative. So Female X is in the wrong.

Next, we move on to the claim that Swifty is listening to music in her room (and we’re back to her being a psychic warrior sent from the future, JOY!), on a typical Tuesday night. We have no qualms with this statement. In fact, we barely have any qualms with the chorus either (we were going to point out the impossibility of Swifty wearing nothing but a t-shirt, and the impossibility of Female X wearing nothing but a short skirt, but we’re better people than that).

Swifty now informs us that she and Male Y are walking through the park, and they’re both laughing, that’s fine by us, but considering that he hasn’t smiled like he used to (his smile apparently produces a substantial amount of energy that provides for a small town [yup, we decided to take the easy way out with that one]) ever since she (Female X) showed up. Well MAYBE that’s because Male Y has got a random stalker and he is THOROUGHLY concerned about that fact. Or maybe it’s because said stalker just doesn’t like being hooked up to a battery every week to generate power for the insane people in this town. Say, on a side note, where are the PARENTS in this place? I want to know why Male Y, Female X, and Swifty haven’t spoken to THEM about this. More importantly, HOW haven’t they noticed that random males are being followed in parks and from football games? Either way, they either don’t care, or they haven’t noticed and I don’t know which one concerns me more.

That’s also as far as I can take listening to the song for the millionth time, so I’m going to stop ranting and end with a plea: stop playing this song so much, and please, when your children ask you to phone in your local radio station, DON’T request this song, request something else, something with better lyrics, and with better vocals, and with better EVERYTHING! And don’t prattle about “Oh go and switch stations,” because MOST stations play this song AT LEAST twice a day.

Starting today, and as ALWAYS, this has been your Admin, and DO remember folks! We define pop music; pop music doesn’t define us. Toodles!

-EK

%d bloggers like this: