Stand Up; A New Philosophy

Often I complain. Often I mope. Often I whine, shout, scream, make noise, and create a raucous over things that are entirely within the scope of my control. Long story short? I decide to blame someone or something else on my own shortcomings, and I’ll usually end up saying something fantastic like “if it weren’t so hot right now, I’d do better.” Which, in retrospect, may or may not be true depending on the task, but is usually just me making an excuse as to why something didn’t go my way. Don’t get me wrong, there are certain things you can’t do unless certain events line up, but those things are for another day and another rant.

A common problem I seem to face is that I don’t stand up for myself. Or rather, I put others down in the place of my own confidence. Or, for those who can’t seem to get it, I place my ego in the path of my own confidence, and frankly, that’s just as bad as it sounds. First of all, ego is not the same as confidence. While a confident person may say “I painted that tree and it looks like a rather good tree” a person with a larger ego may claim that “I painted that tree and it looks like a rather good house,” as an extreme example that underwent severe reductio ad absurdum (by all means, correct my latin, I merely say what I learn, and sometimes I’m not my best teacher).

Now when I say ego, I don’t mean the Freudian ego, which acts as the polar opposite of the id (the id being the pure emotions humans face, and seeing as how we’re talking about Freud, that comes down to two things: fighting, and coitus); the ego acts as (to quote Seto Kaiba) the Tetsuo to the id’s Kaneda; the Batman to the id’s Joker; the Sherlock Holmes to the id’s Moriarty; the Speed Racer to the id’s Racer X. I could go on, but I won’t. The point is that in Freudian terms, the ego is conventionally good, and the id is conventionally bad.

However, I’m not referring to the Freudian ego. I’m referring to the HUMAN ego. The thing that makes mountains out of molehills and that allows us to have slightly better self images, and slightly worse images of others. And having a large ego is not the same as having confidence in yourself. Now don’t get me wrong, anyone with confidence has an ego; it’s what happens when you believe in yourself and your abilities. The reasoning here is that the ego mustn’t control the confidence, or rather, one’s confidence in oneself should come from their abilities, and not ONLY from their own mind. It is difficult for quite a few people to understand that yes, they are smart and able, but they aren’t THAT smart or able. However, we’ve already spoken about brains and intelligence, so I digress.

My original point is that I don’t stand up for myself when I should, and instead, I let my ego drive my actions. Not always, but it’s becoming troublesome enough that I’ve noticed it before anyone else (this is a good AND bad thing, frankly), and because of this I must take action. I need to stand up and do something about it. Now, I have to clarify that when I say “stand up for myself” I don’t mean that I’m a victim against some sort of antagonist, good grief, no. I mean it in the sense that it’s time I stop letting my ego tell me that I CAN do something but ONLY IF…

This is extremely difficult for a lot of people, mainly because (as has repeatedly informed its readers) we are constantly told that we can do anything despite the logical implications of this. Furthermore, we are repeatedly told that we merely need to wait for the “right moment” where everything will fall into place, allowing us to do something. WELL, I’ve reached the right moment, and frankly, it’s not like in the books, or movies, songs, video games, or webcomics. No, the right moment is me realizing I need to STAND UP and DO something about my abilities and I need to STAND UP and DO something about my ego.

It’s a question of WHAT for now, I don’t know, but what I DO know is this: everytime I let my ego take over, I’ll simply apologize, and make up for it with genuine confidence. As always, this has been your Admin, and DO remember! Let your Ego control you, don’t let your ego control you (Freud, gotta love him)!


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