Robot Unicorn Attack; The Truth Behind The Games

After playing a massive amount of Robot Unicorn Attack over the past 2 years and still not being able to get a high score over 20 000, I’ve devised a theory that has helped me get me by. Specifically that the playable unicorn in the main RUA game is, in fact, an evil beast attempting to bring darkness and fear to the unicorn world. The evidence here is that the playable unicorn dashes through objects, effectively destroying the magical barriers posed by the rulers of the unicorn world. Furthermore, the playable unicorn devours the butterflies of the world, thereby ridding it of a magical (and hope filled) source. By doing so, the playable unicorn is also able to grow in power, destroy the unicorn kingdom, fashion it into something diabolical and evil, and thereby assume control of the land. Furthermore, the playable unicorn is unable to maintain a cute facade for too long, and therefore must ALSO devour the butterflies so that it may maintain it’s disguise to continue it’s assault on the unicorn kingdom. Suffice it to say, if the event of Heavy Metal are indication, the player succeeds in taking down the original rulers of the unicorn kingdom.

Once the main unicorn is able to fulfill its goal and conquer the unicorn kingdom, the land becomes the dark and desolate wasteland seen in Robot Unicorn Attack Heavy Metal. Here, the supposedly “Evil” unicorn is attempting to take down the evil king using the exact same methods presented earlier. The playable unicorn in RUAHM is trying to take down the evil warrior from the original game, destroying its poorly constructed barriers and eating it’s fairies of evil to maintain its disguise. Furthermore, both games are most likely stories written by wise mystics of the unicorn world to convince the player that they are either good or evil, never revealing that the entire world is nothing but a chess board for their amusement. Nothing more than a game for them to play when they tire of their duties.

Or who knows? Maybe I just suck at Robot Unicorn Attack? As always, this has been your Admin, comment and criticize and DO remember! Always look on the BYTE side of life!

-EK

  1. Hello. I was just trying if I can post a comment here hehe.

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