HBO and My Sister’s Keeper; No, I Don’t Have A Better Title

Alright folks, I’ve been trying to write an article on HBO and My Sister’s Keeper for the past 4 days and it just isn’t working very well, or at all actually. The idea of the article was to present the faults of the movie and compare it to possible made for television programs that could’ve arisen, but that wasn’t working. The next idea was to compare the movie and film industry because of the film and that definitely didn’t work. Finally, I tried to combine HBO and the movie into one idea and I had no idea where I was going with that. So let’s get the point across quickly: HBO is amazing, and I can’t stand My Sister’s Keeper because the plot is nonexistent, the characters are boring and I can’t stand the overall message because no matter what Anne did, she had no choice in her life and the only reason for her existence was to the benefit of both her older sister and her overbearing (and slightly insane) mother. Not to mention the fact that the father and the brother were underused; though frankly, after every other problem the movie had, that’s one of the smallest details to take into account.

As I continued to work on the article(s) I couldn’t agree on a central point and I was entirely incapable of creating a piece of writing that I was both proud of and confident in. I literally wrote at least 10 different articles, each of them with different introductions, different points of view, different themes, different overarching points, and even different words (I have a set vocabulary people, I’m sure anyone can pick up on that) than I usually use and frankly? Each and every version was absolutely terrible. At first, I thought the problem was based on the idea. I mean, in all seriousness, there really isn’t very much you can do with just the HBO idea because it’s so open to interpretation. During one brainstormsession, for example, I thought that I might discuss the date HBO was conceived (1972, and I’m only giving that information because I finally have a way to deliver it) or the fact that HBO usually receives the most Prime-time Emmy nominations every year, but I realized that the information was almost irrelevant and (though I love the channel) there really isn’t very much I can say about it that a quick trip to Wikipedia wouldn’t be able to divulge.

After that one particular session, I changed the focus of the article to My Sister’s Keeper. I tried to point out the flaws of the movie and ways it could have been better, like I did with Battle Los Angeles but I just couldn’t get past the fact that the movie was dreadful (seriously folks, Anne never had a chance or a choice in either the movie or the book; I shudder to think that I wasted over 5 hours [2 for the movie and 3 for the book] of my life to focus on something so mindless and boring). I mean I really tried to work around its flaws and I tried my hardest to present ways the movie could’ve actually been liked (for example, if it was a made for television film, it would’ve almost definitely been nominated for something and the critics wouldn’t have shredded it the way they did), but that didn’t work. In fact, during one attempt, I tried to discuss the movie and television industry and I ended up sounding like a disappointed elderly man in a cheesy lifetime soap opera, discussing how times were better “Back in the day” and so forth. Clearly, I decided against that idea. In that attempt, I was planning on discussing the merits of criticism in the television and film form, but that didn’t end up sounding as good on paper as it did in my head, so I changed my mind and axed that article as well.

I continued coming up with possible ways to write the article until I realized that the problem wasn’t so much the idea as it was the person writing the article (or in this case, trying to write the article). I decided that I wasn’t focused enough on the concept and so I locked myself in my hotel room, sat on the couch, turned off the television (tuned to HBO no less), and tried to write something; I tried to write anything that could come to mind, anything that sounded coherent. Instead however, I ended up using the hotel’s superior WiFi service to download a copy of Limitless (and to everyone who is asking, relax. I used iTunes and paid a hefty $28.24 to get the copy in HD, because I like watching things in crystal clear high definition. I once again digress, however), and I then came to the conclusion that if I had at least one NZT-48 pill, I’d be able to focus on the article and get it written, but that was nothing more than a pipe dream (so to speak). The best part of that afternoon was when I decided that I’d try comparing Limitless to My Sister’s Keeper (in terms of acting and direction, of course; anything more and I might have actually started crying a little because the former is so good and the latter is so terrible that it would be like comparing a rose to a pile of dirt. Assuming that the rose was an almost perfect thriller, filled with good turns, amazing acting and cinematography that is absolutely gorgeous. The pile of dirt remains to be My Sister’s Keeper) but the definitely didn’t work and, again, the article was axed.

The next stunning conclusion was that the problem wasn’t my lack of focus, but my lack of interest in the article. Finally, I had hit the hammer on the head (or nail or whatever it is the hammer is trying to hit. Bloody violent device as it may be); I actually didn’t care enough to write an article about My Sister’s Keeper and HBO. People: I don’t care about My Sister’s Keeper anymore. I’m quite literally going to finish writing this article and stop caring about it ever again. If I’m asked about either the novel or the movie, I’m going to direct the individual to a pile of dirt (or perhaps a nice field where grass is growing. No, no, first a wall of paint drying) and instruct them to watch it for 2 hours; here they will find a nice pile of dirt, and who knows, maybe they’ll even be inspired to write or direct another pile of dirt. I can guarantee you that the ensuing mess will be more coherent and interesting that the original reason for their inquiry. Though, I must add a very important detail. I love HBO, but I definitely couldn’t get myself to write about it because in all seriousness it is just a television channel. It isn’t, by any means, a serendipitous moment of awakening and it definitely isn’t going to solve any of the problems I have with television because it is just a channel (albeit, a very good one, with high ratings and a decent level of watchable shows), and nothing more. The world isn’t going to stop turning because of it, and the critics are definitely not going to change their attitude on Limitless because I’ve fallen for a channel that has decent programming, so I’m going to move on from it.

I’d like to make one last point before concluding this article with the traditional ending: this was, by far, the most difficult article I’ve ever tried to write and I certainly hope that the next few will not be as monotonous as this one.

As always, this has been your Admin; comment and criticize, and DO remember! Always look on the BYTE side of life!

-EK

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